Prophetic Octopus foresees England defeat

As portents go, one would be hard pushed to find one less credible than this, arguably.  Only time will tell if it's prophecy forebodes true.

 http://bit.ly/9PxG6U

Opener

Disillusioned with England's blander than bland "world cup draw" with Algeria yesterday, this morning i decided to tweet about my new campaign to replace my beleaguered toaster which, sadly, yesterday reached the end of it's usable life.  it is hoped that this will serve as some sort of reminder of these times of toaster-turbulence.

The following tweet was the beginning:

john_hardie 

  

I'm about to take the the plunge on a new toaster after my current one dramatically departed yesterday. This one?http://bit.ly/aWDRYNabout 3 hours ago via web

The idea for the blog came after this frankly silly, but also somewhat inspired, conversation which ensued, via Facebook, when my friend Sarah enquired about the nature of my toaster's demise:

Sarah

Tell me about the dramatic departure of your toaster? Did it spontaneously combust?

14:47Me

there was an explosion of sorts, albiet quite small, more of a short circuit really. Explosion sounds better though, so we'll go with that!

14:49Me

having given it some thought, i did try and wedge in a piece of bread which had frozen bent. should have defrosted first, now i'll have to live with that.

14:51Sarah

You ruined it with your impatience for toast!

14:52Me

i did. i really wanted that toast, and now quite ironically, i'll be waiting a lot longer for my next slice.

14:53Sarah

Toastless in a toast filled world!

14:54Me

come the dawn of the era of my new toaster, or what i like to call "toaster 2.0", things will be different. it'll be toast on tap.

14:55Sarah

24 x 7 Yea!

There nowt like a nice bit of toast with a brew, of course.

14:56Me

indeed, toast-tabulous, the whole night through. i suppose that's what's missing from that there Tefal toast and egg machine, a brew!

14:57Sarah

ha ha ha...they've missed a trick there. You should get a job at Tefal.

14:59Me

i did used to get called Tefal in school. I used to have a frankly ridiculous haircut which supported the observation however. Who better to buy a toaster from than Tefal? "Tefal toast-T" anyone?

15:01Sarah

That's well funny!

15:01Me

or even "egg-stremely Toast-T"

15:05Sarah

I like toasties, as in one's filled with cheese done in a toastie maker. Yummy.

I tried to do one with beans once, it went incredibly wrong. The beans exploded everywhere. Don't try it.

15:06Me

Most yummy. You should start an online cookery series! Don't try this at home kids!

i love cheese but it makes me sweat!

wierd one that.

15:10Sarah

ha ha ha. My brother in law has the same affliction. I thought he was the only one. Apparently not. Perhaps you pair could start a club.

15:11Me

"the cheese sweats" are no laughing matter for those afflicted, Sarah

 heh heh

a facebook group perhaps...

15:12Sarah

Its very weird, I'm sure you know that. Its just cheese. It doesn't warrant a sweat on!

15:14Sarah

Start a facebook group, I wanna know how many people this affects. It's interesting.

15:14Me

Did you look at the Battlestar Galactica toaster? really, quite amuzing.http://gizmodo.com/5024005/battlestar-galactica-toaster-brands-your-bread-with-a-cylon

15:16Sarah

ha ha ha quality. Now there's an idea that could go places.

You could do Jesus ones for religious nutters.

15:18Sarah

Jesus on Toast.

15:19Me

there are various claims by religious nutjobs that they see images of christ in all sorts of things. Probably including toast.

having a Jesus toaster which toasts an image of the lord into your daily bread is nothing short of genius.

15:22Sarah

Why thank you....although I have the battlestar galactica toaster to thank for that idea.

Shortly afterwards, i received the following link, which does somewhat typify such claims, though it's a less credible example than many:

http://bitsandpieces1.blogspot.com/2006/09/jesus-image-found-in-dogs-butt.html

Why is it that every conversation i have ends up on religion?